i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
