There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
