It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
