So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
