happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
