just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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