She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
