Where did you get a picture of my penis
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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