we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
