Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
