well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
