found the other keg... it's in the tree
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
