It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
