He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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