I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
