we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
