Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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