I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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