I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
