The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
