Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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