They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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