why didn't you poke me back
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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