Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
