Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
