I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
