Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
