I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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