And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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