Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
