This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
