I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
