We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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