Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
