Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
