i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
