fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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