Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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