Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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