idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
