Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize