Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
