There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
