Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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