I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
