So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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