man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
