my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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