is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
