i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize