So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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