maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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