So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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