just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have feelings that need drinking.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
