we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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