i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
